Someone sent me a link to a Youtube video.
A nasty little bully, intimidated by a fellow student’s intelligence, charisma and unbelievable cuteness, calls her ‘ugly.’ The (very pretty by the way) girl responds with a brilliant, “I came here to STUDY, not make a fashion statement.” AB-SO-LU-TELY fantastic response. The girl is four years old.
I wish I had even half of the girl’s panache (and her mom and dad’s parenting manual!).
When all else fails, bullies of every age feel able to pull out that old chestnut, “you are ugly.”
LIFE sees with the heart, not the human eye. A quick look out of the window (NOT at a screen or magazine) will show you that, within any immediate surrounding, good and bad stuff falls on all types alike. However, all this is lost on countless girls I’ve spent hours counselling. Industry-defined stunning girls wail about their so-called imperfections and countless more with absolutely nothing wrong with them want to die of shame for not looking exactly like the latest big name in fashion. It is particularly cruel that ‘ugliness’ inspires shame. Because ‘ugliness,’ whichever way that is defined, is not seen as a cosmetic inconvenience, it is seen as a moral flaw.
The curious thing however is that this particular moral flaw is not seen as a failing in dominant groups. Men are rarely accused of being ugly, and if they are, they can laugh it off with the derision that it deserves. This particular accusation is thrown at women, members of social underclasses and sometimes at entire minorities. It is a lot to do with dominance and compliance and very little to do with visuals (it is interesting, for example, that “immigrants” are seen as ugly but “expatriates” are not; or that domestic staff are often caricatured as ugly, especially on film).
Where am I going with this?
This is a heartfelt appeal to those countless (especially), young women, who feel somehow “less than” because they do not fit some narrow definition of beauty:
“If I cannot make you see how beautiful you really are, then ask yourself, WHAT IS WRONG WITH UGLY?”
Seriously, what IS wrong with ugly? ‘Ugliness’ abounds, and it is GLORIOUS! Nature thrives on imperfections. A natural landscape of perfect shapes would look ridiculous. We are surrounded, loved, nurtured, protected, edified, uplifted, inspired, nursed, and supported by countless people who would NEVER make it onto a magazine cover. They are alive, happy, and well. They don’t GIVE A DAMN about looking like models. So WHY should you?
But smile, you ARE beautiful.