A news article about a man getting killed by another man in a distant part of the world, or, a group of men killing another group of men, might at first, not seem to have anything to do with your ability to love and accept yourself as you are. The truth is, there is a lot of hate in the world.
The world wants you to hate.
Hate your ‘enemies.’ While it’s true that danger could come from a stranger, it’s equally true that the unlikeliest person could be your biggest ally, a fact those who benefit from your hatred of others want you to ignore. Societal deviants turn on their ‘own’ all the time while kindness can come from those with nothing in common with you. In a world where this is a truth, and where danger is as likely to come from your ‘own’ as from ‘others,’ why is so much energy spent demonising and fighting the ‘Other’, regardless of whether or not they will do you harm?
Hate your body. Here’s an idea… create a shifting ideal of how a body ought to look. Completely divorce this ideal from the body’s primary function. Make the criteria for what passes for a ‘good’ body very limited. Then sit back and watch the fun. Forget being able to see; ‘good’ eyes must be a certain shape or colour. Feet that work perfectly well can be too big, or even need folding back on themselves. Skin that protects the body…make that too pale or too dark. Legs that walk perfectly are marred by being too short or too long, or not fat or thin enough. Tummies that efficiently house organs that keep the body alive or carry young ones successfully to term…not taut enough. Arms that hug might need toning, lips that kiss the fevered brow are too big or too thin, and hands that comfort; too rough. Turn the screw some more. Create feelings of shame and self disgust around not having the right body. Shame and disgust. Feelings that are best reserved for those who lie, steal, maim and kill innocents. Assign those feelings to those with saggy bellies. “I am so ashamed of the body I have.” Not inconvenienced, not amused or somewhat put out, ashamed.
Hate your soul. Did you know that you were born bad? Before you ever allowed the unholy thought of licking sugar from the bowl to slither across your mind, or, before that, making mummy sad by crying all night, you were BAD. Being born is an expression of the fallen state of mankind. To be human is to be bad. Something went wrong. That’s why we are all here. Suffering. And it’s all our fault. The good news is, folk abound who can make it all better. Your soul can be cleansed. You can work out your bad karma. You can transcend your human self. You can purge the filth from your soul. You can be clean, as driven snow. For a small fee.
Hate your life. Here’s a picture of people having a great time. They have nice teeth. You can see this because they’re smiling hard. They are also have nice hair and clothes. Clothes that fit well. They’re eating, drinking and surrounded by lots of happy making stuff. They are better than you. You must do your best to be like them so that you too can have a permanent smile on your face.
Hate yourself. “Excuse me for breathing.” How often does it seem that your very existence is nothing but an inconvenience to deserving others who have more right to walk this earth than you do?
Self hate makes us mean, grasping and resentful of others. In hating ourselves we create a hateful world.
I DEEPLY AND COMPLETELY LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF.
This is the phrase that is repeated by users of the very popular EFT method (emofree.com) who will vouch for it as a powerful healing tool. Details of the process are better described elsewhere, but what I’d like to draw attention to is the beauty, power and truth of the words used. Think about it for a moment. What would your life be like, if you internalised these words? How different could things be if this was what you truly believed about yourself?
I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
My love and acceptance of myself is not a function of my looks. I am a legitimate citizen of this world, however I look like to other citizens. I belong here. I belonged when I was born and I will belong until I breathe my last. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
My life is my own, and not the backdrop for someone else’s bragging, hate or pity. My experiences are legitimate and valid. This world has felt my presence and I leave my prints on it in ways no one else can or has. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
This world can get scary and I am sometimes frighteningly fragile. But I do not project my fears onto a group and believe they are the single cause of my misery. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
My soul existed before I came to this world and lives on forever. It is eternal, whole and infinitely beautiful. What I am is more than what you see. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.